Today school asked us to fill in the spm form.

Feeling so hatred.
The teacher's speaking are not logic at all.
I mean, she says not to drop any subject.
As it was the greatest package the school had ever make for us.
Then later she says, drop those subject that you think will makes you fail.
As it will be too risky for your future.

I was like, what?!
Those sentence appear none less than 1 minute.
I was so confused.
Whether i should drop that stupid biology subject.

But in the end, i standstill with my decision.
Saying good-bye to biology doesnt hurt that much.
Hehe~
*
Next week, another NEW principal coming.
From bu4.
Heard rumors about this new coming lady principal.

Wont say too much first.
But will try to update as soon as possible.

Labels: elaine [0323]

School life has start 2 months ago.

Was complaining cant feel the tension of spm during January.
Playing and enjoying was my way to past the time.

Then, i started to be emo and blue.
My family starts to scared of me.
I was just quiet.
Start to holding books.
Jotting down notes.
Only let down my mask in front of my sisters.

Now, i'm normal again.
The crazy and enjoy-learning girl.
I'm not that tension anymore.
I just change my view of studying.
I started to feel relax whenever i am communicate with the books.
Still, i hate bio.

What am i doing after spm?
Where would i be?
Who am i to be in future?
Why will there be a distance?
When will my question be answered?
How can i stand still with me will?

After all, I'LL BE MISSING MY SISTERS ><
Just like i'm protecting the fire being blow off.

Labels: elaine [0323]

Woa~
Cant believe that November is going to end in just one week.
Then it's December.
*
Ok.
I'm so damn sick now.
Sore throat.
Headache.
Flu.
I mean, what the hell???
I've got stuff to do.
And yet i'm here to sick?!
Just wish that i can recover soon.
Cause "Aiwo" is nearby.
Hehe~
*
Hope that our Sunway trip will success.
I mean, i just wanna spend time with my sista.
Miss you girls~~~

p/s: We did said that we are going to get our driving license together. And now what? No news? Contact each other soon. :P

Labels: elaine [0323]

Ok.
Looks like sista blog is going to grow dust.
Haiz
*
Holiday starts.
And my life is kinda packed.

Today just went to a one day camp.
Talking about sex and all those kinda stuff.
A bit boring at first.
But start to warm up after lunch.
*
Cant wait till "Ai Wo Qing Nian" start.
More information, Da Xue Yuan's blog.
If you want to join, get the form quickly.

Waiting for you...

Labels: elaine [0323]

Finals is on the way right after pmr.
Gosh~
Time does really fly.
It was as if we were facing our first exam yesterday.
*
Anyway, it was a great day with all the sista.
We even dreamed of living in a "clubhouse", which rcsk is going to buy for us.
Haha~

It was fun having a bunch of friends talking loads of crap to kill time.
Ya.
Cherish those memories.
And i really do wish those will become true.

I cant imagine my life without them.
Thanks for letting me having a chance to dream what i didnt dare to.
You guys really rock my life.
:P

Labels: elaine [0323]

发现到只有这里，我才可以发泄我的真真内心。
因为我的父母都不知道这里。
我父母是有看我的部落格哦～
*
我。
谈了5次恋爱。

• 首先，要说我花痴也不是。

因为我交往的对象都是ok ok的。
没有一个是很帅到可以令身边每个人都吃醋。（在梦里面就有。。。哈哈～）

• 第二，每段感情都至少有两个月。

我不是那种喜欢玩玩一下就说拜拜的。
人生难得认识。
何不认识久一点。

• 第三，我是个不爱吃醋的女生。

至少我是曾经爱过的。
任由你怎样跟别的女生玩，我都不会吃醋。
最多我会问东问西。
可是我不说吃醋。
但，胡思乱想就是我的唯一弱点。
*
5段感情。
有两段是我自己要求分开的。
两次是男方。
可是有一次就真的伤到我很重。
重到泪水忘了流下来。
只有错愕和问号。
不过我是那种随缘的。
要走就走。
我不会一哭、二闹、三上吊的留着一颗心。

曾经有个朋友说：“依琳，能跟你交往的男生真的很幸福。就算分手了，你都不会无理取闹。还很潇洒地放开对方。”
是吗？
我真的很潇洒？
只因我看扁那种性格的女生，我就被人说我潇洒？
呵呵～
我也不知道。
我知道，从小，我妈妈就教我，如果有颗心要离开你，你必须放手。
因为你再求、哭、讨回来，那颗心还是不会像当初那样对你了。
要做个理智的人。
*
星期五是我的期限。
要是没有答复，我必须再次披上“坏心女孩”这个名称。
可是为了自己的心情和想法，我还必须做出这么自私的决定。
星期五。
就直到这个星期五而已。。。

Labels: elaine [0323]

There goes another month and another week.
Guess we should really get ready for another challenge.

Never thought that i'm that swifty mood this few months.
It's like i never get a chance to express.
But i treat it as a growing up process.
I mean, you'll get to know yourself more accurate when you are in the society.

If i really have to choose, i reather choose career, for now.
Duh~
Studying for like years and want me to give up just for love or whatever.
NEVER!
Or rather shall i said, IN YOUR DREAM!

I'm not that typical girl that says, career is more important than anything.
It's that i'm following my opinion and situation to decide.
When the time is right, i might give up anything and start a family.
Who knows?
Even i dont know.
Or i might just well continue to fight for my career.

Hehe~
I dont want to a superwoman.
It's so tired and doesnt suit my style of elegant.
I want to be a normal girl/lady.

I know that you might said,"Hello~ young lady, you are only 16. What's with all these?"
Well, i'll just said,"And hello to you. I just i want to plan my future. I dont want to get my life screw up like you and other people out there. Thanks for your concern."
Haha~

Labels: elaine [0323]

School opens today.
Damn~
I'm so tired plus a bit moody.
Haiz~
Hate school very much.
No choice!
School is a place where we get our knowledge. (BS! Tell that to the government. And ask them dont do stupid stuff that irritating us!)
Went to school just for my papers.
*
Argh~
And what's the matter with that physics teacher?!
She's so annoying!
How can i say her?
A-100%-pig-style-tummy-arrogant teacher.
Ya~
It's kinda suits her.
Oh~
My whole day mood was spoiled by her tears!
God fxxx her!
Those tears were like playing games with kids!
Man, so hate her!
It wasnt like she's the best in the school!
Thought that her tears will get our mind or ear or eyes or whatsoever back?
Never!
Cause she's so drama queen!
And what the heck?!
Her english werent that good enough to teach us!
Still always compared us with her ex-school!
Fxxx you, man!
ARGH~~~~~~~~~~~

Labels: elaine [0323]

Hey there~
I'm blogging here at Penang.
And it feels kinda great.
Haha~
Anyway, just wanna tell everyone i'm fine at here.
*
It's also a great trip here with my cousin.
I mean she's the one who knows me deeply from my inner heart.
We talk a lot of stuff.
From love life to school life then to daily life.
We talk till late night.
We laugh together.
We've been crazy at the same time.
Lots of stuff we did.
*
Well, it's nothing here.
And just us, inside a condominium.
Watching tv, playing computer games, reading books.
If you thought that i came to Penang for a holiday, honestly, no, we are not.
I mean, my father gotta take some business here.
So we just came along.
Hehe~
As long as we are quiet whenever my father's phone rings, we can still managed to have fun.
*
Yesterday went to Queensbay Mall.
Kinda remind me of KL's shopping center.
It's spacey and much of the building concept was more alike to Times Square, 1U, Pavillion.
It was a great trip there.
We bought lots of stuff.
I even got a "Bodyglove" member card as i purchased more than rm200 at their shop.
Hehe~
*
Well, guess i should stop here.
More update whenever i'm free or i'm back to KL.
:P

Labels: elaine [0323]

3 days down, 1 day to go.
Our third time exam, is going to over.
And damn, didnt even enjoy the study mood yet.
Cause i'm watching olympic.
Oh gosh~
I cant help myself.
Whatever~
All the best!!!

Labels: elaine [0323]

People's change.
I knew that since i first left my primary school.
It was kinda hard to accept the fact and the attitude.
I am a senstive girl.
I can sense who is changing.
From good to bad.
I can sense.

You cant always catch a person's heart.
They will change.
One day, they'll leave you.
You just have to stare at their back.

I cant named the names out.
But i do know, that among us, there is people changing.
I'm not saying anything.
I just trying to say.
No matter what happened, or what had turn us to this, i'll still appreciate the memories that you guys gave me.
I cant sell those memories at eBay or anywhere.
It's my properties.

The thing is, i dont really like the feeling wheneve i sensed someone is changing.
As if i was the left behind.
I cant change the reality.
I dont have the strength.
I know i cant keep your heart strongly.

Just wanna say:
I ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

Labels: elaine [0323]

We've hurt a friend...
It's so hard to cool down her...
And i've run out of idea...
Wish she will cool down...
Accept our appology...

It may be hard...
But we really do love you...

I'M SORRY!!!

Labels: elaine [0323]

What type of power makes a guy so deeply fall to a girl?
Love?
Honesty?
Pride?
Natural?
Or maybe it was, Empty?

Ok.
So this a story that happened between us.
A guy loves a girl.
Simple and natural.
The things is, the girl left the guy.
The guy couldnt get to take off the girl from his mind.
He's like a ghost to the girl.
What happened?
Nothing. Really.

Until one day.
Teacher gave us a assingment.
It was entitled: "The Plan of Your Life"
The content was to have your family background, you friends, your plans... etc.
What did he wrote?
Well, he wrote his love to the girl.
We did not tell the girl. (I guess she knows about it now.)
Scare that the girl will hate him.

Nobody can tell what was in his mind.
To be that daring to write it out.
Big and loud.
But no one really cares about it.
As it was deadline to pass up our assignment.

The question that keep popping up my mind.
Why he has that ego to keep that girl?
Asked him to leave the girl alone.
He just said, "The girl is my everything. Without her, i rather die."
Fulfilled the girl with another guy. (Both of them denied. But we knew deeply in our heart, there's some chemical reaction going between them.)
He's getting more daring.
From msn message till now.
Try every single method to ask him leave.
It was like asking him to hell.

Couldnt resist.
But i guess it was his method to let the girl know.
That he still loves her.
It just wrong method.
I cannot wish them.
As i dont see the reason.
It was giving a candy to an animal.
They dont appreciate the candy you gave.

One word: LEAVE!

Labels: elaine [0323]

I really want to dig up my heart.
And see what's happening in there.

My mood get swifty again.
This time, is the pressure i gave myself towards the chinese society camp.
I am so frustrated.
From the begining till now.
I mean, none of the things that had done, really 100% satisfied me.
I might be serious and strict.
It's just i sometimes i cant really breathe well whenever i'm thinking about it.
It might also a reason for yesterday.

I woke up early in the morning.
I didnt make a move.
As my eyes just blinking up the ceiling.
I cant move my body.
All of sudden, i felt my energy had been sucked out.
I lied to my mum that i'm not feeling well. (Sorry mum, i promise i'll be more straight forward you.)
And now, i'm really not feeling well.
Sore throat, a bit flu, less energetic...
This morning at school, i dont feel the inner me connecting to my outter side.
I was playing a show.
Just to persuade myself that i am a-ok.
I guess it didnt work out.
I fell to bed immediately once i reached home.

Listening to music now, really does cured me a bit.
But i still feel tired.
My shoulder is aching.
My head is spinning around.
I cant really concentrate when i'm doing revision.
In the end, i on my computer.
But my mum starts to nag me for not doing housework.
Kinda let myself out by doing housework without serious.

I'm not the one that moody today.
My bro starts to making noise.
Guess he's facing some problems too.

Under one roof now, there's two people that cant breathe well.
I felt sorry to my mum and sis.
It's not that i cant changed my mood now.
I really wish this everything is over.
Please...

Labels: elaine [0323]

Someone's birthday is coming soon...
Hope there's a suprise for them...

Happy Sweet 16 Birthday, ladies!!!

Labels: elaine [0323]

To be honest, i'm still struggle whether if i should further my studies.
I mean, my parents nowadays faced some financial problems. (Blame it to the increasing petrol.)
I really want to study media.
Especially broadcast.
As if i was born to it.
Really. And seriously.
I really want to study.
But the situation now, makes me struggle more than before.

Cant believe too.
I cried when i made a phone call to him.
I told him everything.
He just kept silence.
I guess he just wants me to let out everything.
Before we end our call, he told me: "All you can do is, try your best to study. Your parents will overcome the problem. Just trust them. They love you and they want you to have the best."

He's supporting me.
But i'm not even supporting myself.
I need to calm down my mind.
Steady myself.
Need to prove that the eldest can finish every single course in university.
I'm not mentioning names.
But i hope you do understand it deeply.
I'm not a weak girl that always cry.
I just need to relieve some tears that i've collect.
I have my own wish to be realize.
I can make it happen.
I will and it will be a succeed!
I promise, whenever that day come, i want you to eat those words you said, back straight to your ass!
I'm serious.
And i'm cool.

Beat me.
Cause i know there's always solution.
And i'm going to find it.
No matter how much i need to sacrifice.
I'll find it.

Labels: elaine [0323]

This post suppose to be written at yesterday.
But sorry for my laziness and some personal reason.
Sorry
*
Ok.
3/6 me, waiyi, sk and jy went to Times Square.(Stef and yan was absent.)
We've been plan about like 2 months ago.
It was a crazy day.
We tried so many things and we still can laugh about it.
*
First of all, sk sat ktm and monorail for the first time since 10 years ago. (According to her.) Jy, well, she didnt say much.
But we did chat much on the way to KL Central.
When we reach there, we straightly went for food.
Had our early lunch at somewhere sold teppanyaki.
It was so-so.
Nothing much about it.
After that, we start to SHOP!!!
Not long, we went to Plaza Sg. Wang.
Turning around and around.
We went for the upper lever ground.
Had our "Big Head Photo".
Stupid machine!
Most of the picture was so uncool!
Swear never go near that machine again.
While sk was cutting those picture, we found out there's a dancing machine.
Waiyi and me gave our shot to dance.
It was SO COOL!!!
Even though we lost, we still laugh and laugh and laugh.
Guess what, jy wants to play too!
So, i had to accompany her.
Damn hell, i danced twice.
It was fun anyway.
We even made a deal: the next time we are coming, we definately will challenge again.
*
It was time to go back.
Plus, raining outside, how the hell are we going back to Times Square?
Of course, we did silly and fun and memorable things.
We walk through the rain.
Jy and sk kept saying, i was "man".
Once we were inside, straight forward we were heading to the washroom.
Everyone was wet and our hair was a mess.
But, we did look cool.
Haha~
*
Man, those were the memory i cant delete it.
It was too precious.
As for the others that didnt come with us.
All i can say is, "You missed too much fun!"

p/s: I want to buy that Romp army jeans!!!
p/p/s: Jy and sk, please dont fall in love to me. I know i was "man", i'm still a lady. Haha~

Labels: elaine [0323]

Woohooo~~~~
I really dont feel like i'm holiday-ing
Why???
Cause i've been busy since the first day.
Till now.
I havent really rest yet.
*
Anyway, it was kinda fun.
I mean busy here and there.
Makes me feel that i've grow up.
I can handle lots of things without the help from my families.
It really helps a lot.
I'm more confident, more indepedent, more strength, more thinking to complete a mission.
Guess this is why my parents always support me whenever i want to do something by myself.
*
3/6.
Going out to Times Square.
Why am i still happy?
Dont know.
Might be i've got more money to spend.
Or maybe my parents just say yes without nagging me.
Or it could be because a celebration of me getting more to myself.
No matter what reason it was, it's just an imagination to happy.
Promise, i'll be more happy than anytime.

Labels: elaine [0323]

There's a common between both of our form4 scienece class.
WE ARE SCARED OF BIOLOGY!!!
Haha~
I know, it's lame.
Hey, who cares???
I mean, Bio paper was held on Tuesday.
Both paper 1 and paper 2 at the same day.
It was kinda hard.
And i'm guessing that i' failing.
Oh well, who cares?
You know me well.
I'm the girl who doesnt care much about her paper's result.
Even if she did, it's only for a while.
Later that, she'll be crazy as usual.
Haha~(Sorry for the self-praising)
Anyway, back to the topic.
The paper was damn hard.
Especially paper 2.
DAMN DOOMED!!!
I guess that's because we havent recognise the format of the paper.
Time, time.
We need time to recognise it.
Then had a fight with it.
Oh well, doesnt occur me well.
Haha~
I still gotta say it :
I FAILED BIOLOGY. (For sure)

Labels: elaine [0323]

Let me tell you a joke.
(This may be sad and annoying. You can either continue to read or press the big red "X" up there. Thank you.)
*
Everyone knows that me and mum are kinda closed. We are always like friends.
And i admit that my mood was swifty.
So does my mum.
But i will never ever ever do this.

• I will not ignore everyone.
• I will not not help them.
• I will not give them a big white eyes.

But to my mother.
She does all that.
And especially to me.
Yesterday night, i really dont know what happened to her.
She was in a swifty mood too.
But!!!
She rather talk to my other family member than me.
Right now, she just talk all the bad things about me in front of her friends and right in front of my face!!!
I know it's hurt.
Who cares?!
I've done it!!!
I'm not in the mood to self-defense.
Instead i just pretend i'm DEAF!!
I'M BLIND!!!
I'M TASTELESS!!!
I'M AN ANIMAL!!!
That's all i'm reacting now.
But you gotta take it right.
It's not saying that i'm hurting my mum or whoever that cares about me.
Cause if i dont, i'm the one that going to cry every night.
I believe myself.
And i loved my heart.
Just leave me here...

Labels: elaine [0323]